The Artist Who Wasn't

A break from movie reviews for a bit of my inner thoughts...


I am in a bit of a flux. What's nice is that I don't feel quite so complicated and turbulent as I did a while ago, but I do feel a change. Ah, winter is when I blossom into a better person. Go figure....

My school is allowing everyone to start picking their classes now for the Spring semester, but I am not sure that I want to go. I am taking a Career Explorations class currently, and all of the assessments that go along with the class tell me that I need to do something creative and something that helps people. (I kinda HATE people, so that doesn't really help matters.) So I first thought, "hmm, maybe you should be a Art Therapist. Then you can do both at the same time." Now I am not so sure I like that idea.

One of the Pharmacists that I work with was dumped over the phone by his girlfriend last week. Now I now that sounds like trivial information, but it made me think. You see, it really hurt me to see him upset. I am a very empathetic person. So for the rest of the evening I was really bummed about it. I have since realised that I am going to be really bummed all the time if I become an art therapist. I would have to see little children and old people and all kinds of people in lots of pain. I am not so sure I could deal with it. People have always used me as a dumping ground for their problems, and I don't want to take the garbage home with me for the rest of my life.

This is the point in which I thought of taking next semester off. My mom and I talked last night because I was looking at the classes I will have to take, and I wasn't too thrilled about it. She said that I could always go back to college, because I am young and I don't have that many obligations. Momma didn't want me to feel like I HAD to go for other people. She just wants me to find my niche, and find what makes me happy, because that is what really matters. I had to agree.

Thus, I am considering taking next semster off. I would of course get a second job ('cause I sure as hell can't just sit at home and draw all day.) However, I think I'll look into getting a job that allows creative outlet or deals with art in some way. This could be really good for me, because it would allow me the oppurtunity to see if that is what I am meant to do. If it doesn't work out, I can always go back to college. But if it does work out, I could skip all of that time in a classroom.

What I plan on doing if I go through with this, is to submit a few drawings to American Greetings, Hallmark, sticker companies, stationary companies and art shows. I also plan to make prints and other misc. stuff to sell at Art&Craft fairs. I am also thinking of perhaps getting a booth at the Farmer's Market downtown. I would do it on the Saturdays I don't work at Target. I am essentailly looking to be the next Mary Englebreit. I want to have calenders and magnets and cookie jars and greeting cards and stationary and rubber stamps with my drawings on it. I want to bring people happiness through my art. The is so much scary stuff in this world. I want my art to make people like everything is okay.

So that's just what I was thinking about....

I like popcorn...

My pirate name is:

Calico Mary Rackham

Often indecisive, you can't even choose a favorite color. You're apt to follow wherever the wind blows you, just like Calico Jack Rackham, your namesake. You have the good fortune of having a good name, since Rackham (pronounced RACKem, not rack-ham) is one of the coolest sounding surnames for a pirate. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from piratequiz.com.
part of the fidius.org network

Hahaha! I just thought it was funny...^

So this evening Stefan and I went to see "Running With Scissors" with Emma and Spencer, an adorable (and painfully shy) couple from Ringling. Stefan is friends with them, and I am apparently the outgoing one of the group! I know, right?!

Anyway, the movie was great. The whole premise is this kid Augusten (wonderfully played by Joseph Cross) who has an alcholic father and a mother who is like->[]<-that close to the brink. Annette Benning plays Deirdre, the unstable mother, and I would give her the Oscar in a heartbeat for this portrayal. Deirdre goes to Dr. Finch(Brian Cox) because she believes that her husband, Norman (Alec Baldwin) is comprimising and suppressing her talent for poetry.
Dr. Finch hands Deirdre many pills, and convinces her to hand over custody of her son, Augusten to him. Augusten lives with Finch and his whacked-out family in a shabby house that seems reminiscent of a horder's. Finch's daughters, Hope(Gwenyth Paltrow) and Natalie(Evan Racheal Wood), have complicated and hilarious neurosis of their own. Jill Clayburgh, who plays Agnes, Finch's not-particularly-attractive wife, is probably the only mediocrely sane person in the house besides Augusten.
I don't want to give away too much about this one. I do though, highly recommend everyone see it. If not now, at least Netflix it or rent it later. There are some parts that are sortof scary if you are a pansy like me, but all-in-all just very gripping and funny. And I like that this is not just a chick-flick tear-jerker. The manliest man can watch this movie, and not feel like it was too mopy. Here's what is required of the veiwer though: 1.)Don't jump to conclusions about each charactor. You will be sorely mistaken. 2.)You are by no means going to sit through this film and not be just a little creeeped out at how fragile the human mind is. We all have the possiblity of being one of these charactors. 3.)Understand that not all people with a doctorate are good doctors. Just keep that in mind. 4.)Don't leave until after you see all the charactors' outcomes. At the end they show each charactor and tell you what happened to them. It is funny. Just finish your popcorn.

So I hope that everyone sees it, because it reminded me how overmedicated we are as a nation, and it also reminded me how our attitudes about life shape us. By the way, did you know that less than one percent of all people who are on mental/psychological medications actually need them? I heard it from a very reputable source- a psychologist.

Marie Antionette...

I don't know how many of you are planning on seeing Sofia Coppola's film version of the biography of Marie Antoinette. However, I how I can convince you to see it, because if you are familiar with her life, then you could appreciate this film.

I read several different reviews of the movie, and they were awful grim, but I don't believe that the people who reviewed it knew what the hell they were watching. Coppola was trying to convey her life, not make it a "based-on" film. In the beginning of the movie, you'll note that the camera work is sort of blurry and shaky. This, in my opinion, was purposeful in order to show how Antoinette slowly transitioned from being an Austrian Empress' daughter, to being the Dauphine of France. The foreground and middle ground (the "Austrian" Antoinette and her carriage) are blurry while the background (France) is sharp. So be patient in the beginning because I promise it has a point.

The dialogue is very minimal compared to other films, but at times it is difficult to hear everything because during certain scenes EVERYONE is talking. This was probably to reference the gossipy nature of Versailles. What is important to pay attention to is the body language and the subtleties of each character. You'll notice that the character of Marie Antoinette is really a victim of circumstance, and understood that her only real job was to give birth to a dauphin. If she could have successfully done this very quickly, the French Revolution may have been pushed back a few hundred years. However, her husband Louis XVI, had a bad circumcision and had painful erections, which caused him to be distant and unable to be intimate with her. Antoinette was very young when they married, only 14, and it is also wise to recall how awkward you felt at that age. Can you imagine having to give birth and have sex in front of the entire pageantry of Versailles at 14? I don't think very many of us would really WANT to endure that. She did find comfort in escaping to the Operas of Paris and decadent parties where gossip was not only about her. While watching the film, notice the expression on her face while watching the Opera. It is full of wonder and awe.

Antoinette tries to make the best of her marriage and her position, but again, she was a victim of circumstance. How would you like to be the Queen (or King) of a country that you know nothing about, that is on the brink of a monarchical overthrow? I most certainly wouldn't. What I think Coppola was trying show was the absurdity of everyone around Antoinette and what a tough cookie she was. It does not show her beheading but does not need to. All that you need to know is that Versailles fell apart which is represented by the last scene in the film. I will of course let you find out what that is by yourself.

Other than that, the sets and props were breath-taking, as well as the costumes and wigs. I thought that each charactor was very properly dress for their personalities as well as the time. The set was spectacular, and each detail was taken into account. If nothing else, see this film for the gorgous costumes. You leave the theatre wishing hats and corsets were still n fashion. I know I did. (Tempting as it was, I resisted the urge to put on my hoop skirt....)

I hope you'll all see this film, because it is a great tale. If Marie Antionette lived right now, she would be the most gorgous goth/indie/punk/emo girl ever. And I am sure she'd have pinbk hair!

If I won the Lottery

I was watching a show (there was nothing on...) before I had to pick up my little brother and his goofy friends from Geek fest.[FYI- Geek fest is a Thursday night gathering for geeks at a comic book store where they play D&D, Warhammer, and tell fart jokes.] So anyway, I was flipping' through the channels and came across a show that profiled the lifestyle changes of people who'd won the lottery. Which, of course, got me thinking. (Why else would I post about it?)

If I won the lottery, I have several things that I would definitely NOT do. I wouldn't quit my job right off, because that's silly. Also, I would not make any big purchases for a while. And the big one, I would not tell anyone until all contracts, and prize winnings were in my name.

Then I would do some hiring. I would hire an accountant, and a lawyer, and a person to keep watch over the both of them. And I would not just get anybody, either. It would be stupid to hire just whomever. But yes, I would do me some hirin'.
Then, once everything cleared, I would pay off my parents house, so they could sell it and move outta this stupid state. All debts that my immediate family owed would be paid off, and we would go out to dinner at someplace that we had never been to, just to celebrate.

Stefan and I would get married. That would just be it. Now, that's not to say that I would spend a fortune on my ring, because we'd probably just get nice simple titanium rings and be done with it. I'm a simple girl. I don't need a big-ass diamond to get stuck in my hair every morning. (BTW, even if I won the lotto, I'd still dye my own hair at home.) SO then we would have a really nice wedding, and splurge a bit on it. I think if I had the money, I would love to have a really great party for my friends and family. That's what a wedding is anyway, right?

Then we would buy a house together on a really big lot. That way, we could build a house on the property for my little brother later on. We wouldn't have a really fancy ostentatious rich-people house. Just something that was big enough to have family over on holidays without poking each others eyes out. Central air, washer/dryer, 2-car garage, and a place that I could squeese in a sewing room. That's really all I seek. I would also pay for Stefan's mom to go back to Slovakia so she could take care of her mom for all long as she needed to. She would like that.

So then there's my "career". I would go nuts sitting at home buying stuff off QVC, so I'd much rather do something constructive. I would buy a studio and gallery space in Towles court(or someplace like that) and paint and draw all day. I would also write. Mostly poems, short stories, and of course, blog posts. I would have gallery shows with wine and cheese, and little quiches. I would also take classes to feel more cultured. I would take millinery classes, a class to learn how to make wedding cakes, a pottery class, some writing classes, a film-making class and whatever else I felt like learning how to do. (By then I would've quit my job, so I'd have more free time) But yeah, I would just create all day. And I would live like a starving artist. Without all the starving....

Then, after a couple of years went by, I'd start having kids. I think I would be a mom sooner if I won the lottery. I would have more energy to. But of course, Stefan would have to agree with me on this. I certainly couldn't do that by myself!

Amongst all of this I would start a scholarship program for sexual abuse victims, and I do a lot of philanthropy work. I think that since you can't take it with you, you might as well be able to say you did some good with it. I like feeling like I did something good and worthwhile.

If Stefan wanted something different, that would be okay too. I'm not picky. And I would let my mom do what she's always wanted: buy tons of tacky lawn ornaments and fill up her front yard, and spend all day ordering from catalogs. I would get her a huge sewing space all her own too. And I would pay for my dad to be able to retire and do some things he's always wanted. I think he would like to live in the Carolinas and be Norm Abrahm from "This Old House". Which I'm sure he'd watch on PBS every morning...and "NOVA" after his nap.

I have a lot of things I'd do if I won the lotto. Now all I need to do is buy a ticket, huh?

Looking down the road.

As of late, I have been a bit aggitated with school. I feel in many ways that I am not being challenged in ways that I wish to be. I have a few issues with staying at MCC. I want to be around people who are like-minded, rather than these Venice-hicks. I want to feel a sense of belonging at school, a sense of positive pressure. I am getting neither. My psych teacher is awful, I have a class during the lecture series that I want to go to, and I have a psycho in one of my classes. However, I am looking at my options, and it appears as though I am going to have to remain here until next summer.

I e-mailed the transfer advisor at New College, to see what she thought of my transferring there. She recommend that I stay at MCC and get "caughtup" with my math courses. She also said that their lowest level math class was calculus. Their LOWEST. So now I am looking at what I must do to transfer to New College.

I could stay at MCC in the spring, and take the remedial Algebra class, the lab that goes along with it, a developmental psych class, and one other course to make me full-time. Then, in the summer, take a statistics class, and another math class. I hate math, but if that's what I have to do to go to New College, so be it.

Here's the catch: I might still have to take a statistics class at New College, and I my have to repeat some topics in psychology as well (though the advisor could work with me on this). I really like New College, and I think I would be really happy with my classmates and the faculty. I will be making an appointment to visit the campus, hopefully this week, and maybe it will motivate me to do really well.

Until then, the weather is getting colder, and spring is looking farther, and father away. Summer? I can't even imagine.

Tick, tick, tick!

I have two clocks: a biological clock and a marital clock. Now I know what you're thinking--"Mimi, you're crazy." Well, I can only tell you what I know, and this is what I know. On my 18th birthday, God gave me the practical-joke gift of a biological clock. Har-har-har. All the sudden, I'd see a baby andthen feel like crying my eyes out. Now this did not necessarily mean I wanted a baby; actually I really just craved holding one, giving one a bath, smelling that new-baby smell. And I began to wonder what I would look like pregnant. Now, this is not something I wanted. Why the hell would anyone WANT to see a baby and tear up? Well, I have gotten to the point that where I have shut-up my biological clock, but then there is the other one. The marital clock. The one that makes me watch "Who's Wedding Is it Anyway" at 3 in the morning. The one that makes me slow down each time I drive past a bridal shop. The one that is currently driving me crazy.

I have almost been able to get it to shut up. Almost. However, sometimes I find myself day-dreaming about locations, or tablesettings, or guest lists. Tis, from a girl who hasn't even been asked yet. I wish I could supress it, but this one is pretty tough. Marrying Stefan seems like so very far away, but while I was drivign home tonight, I realised a way to get rid of my clock. I was listening to Delilah (I luv her) and a woman was calling to request a song. Basically. the caller said that she and her boyfriend of 8 years were having an argument because she wanted to get married, but he was waiting until they had "enough money". Well, that is particularly a great reason to hold off marriage, but it is the major reason why Stefan and I don't get hitched. Anyway, Delilah was telling the woman that her boyfriend obviously had a different agenda and her needs were not being met, therefore it was time for her to move on to someone better. That is what got me thinking. Stefan and I will be celebrating our two year anniversary November 8th. Two years is by no stretch of the imagination anywhere near eight years, and my emotional, physical, and mental needs are being met by him. I do have some other needs that I want to have met, but they are needs that Stefan does not have any control over. So I have decided to keep this in mind. All of my needs are being met, and though my clock trys to tell me that marring him would be a need, I know it is just a want. Therefore, I believe that I could be over this stupid clock thing if I just try to look at what he has already given me.

Now if I could just start thinking like an 18year old, I'd be all set.

Hi-ho! Something to do in this town-o!

Stefan and I are going to be celebrating our 2 year anniversary November 8th. I am trying my best to knit him some black fingerless gloves as one of his presents(he arlready is aware of this) and I am super frustrated with it. I tried double-points, I tried strait needles...I am at my wits end. This project is a headache, but I will do it, because it's what he wants.

Therefore, I am taking a break to try to collect myself. In today's paper is a list of upcoming festivals and sort for Sarasota and various counties. These are the ones I'm going to try to attend:

Oct.20-22 and 28-29: Hunsader Farms is having their big hoorah with punkin'patch and hayride. Go to www.hunsaderfarms.com for more info.
Oct.28-29: the 12th annual Downtown SRQ Fall Craft Festival will take place on Main Street. Go to www.artfestival.com
Nov.11-12 and 18-19:The MEDIEVAL FAIR! Since the old fogeys at the RIngling museum kicked the awesome fair out of their grounds, this fair has been relocated to several different spots. This year, it'll take place at the Bradenton Hunsader Farm. I dress up every year! Can't wait! Go to www.sarasotamedievalfair.com to buy tickets and find out more.
Dec.9:The Sarasota Christmas Boat Parade. I am not sure if I'll be attending this one, but it is really nice if you can keep warm.
Jan.14: Arts Day! Downtown and Bayfront. Go to www.sarasota-arts.org
Jan.20th and 27th:GASPARILLA!!! We have been wanting to go for 15 years running and this is the first time it has been metioned before-hand in the newspaper. We'll definately dress up for this one! The 20th will be the family-friendly parade and the 27th will be the boobs-for-beads extravaganza! Log onto www.gasparillapiratefest.com to get directions.
Feb.3-4: Seista Key Crafts Fair. Walk around, look at peoples stuff. It's a great day! In the Siesta Village area.
Feb.8-19: The Florida State Fair. I am almost positive I won't go to this one, but I know many who would want to know about it. Go to floridastatefair.com for directions. At the Fair Grounds in Tampa, next to the ampitheatre.
Mar.1-11:Plant city's annual Strawberry Festival! last time we went we had a blast. You can get strawberry shortcake for super cheap, and I recommend trying a fried twinkie with Strawberries on top. Yummm! Check out flstrawberryfestival.com
Mar.16-25: If Tampa is too far, the Sarasota County Fair is good for you! Located at Robarts, you can find out more at www.sarasotafair.com
Apr.13-22: Sarasota Film Fest. I went to one film last year. It was okay. I think that if you live here, you should experience it at least once. sarasotafilmfest.com has more...
Apr.21-22: Siesta Fiesta! Ocean Blvd, Siesta Village. Pretty cool.

Let's face it--this stupid county plans everything around the snowbird season, and though uncool as it may be, we should at least take advantage of it. When season is over, I highly recommend going to some things that are out ofyour routine. The Asolo
is expensive, but worth it. Go to Selby, the Municipal Auditorium, and the Towles Court Art walk(which, by the way is every third thursday of the month.) We SRQ kids need to stick together to keep boredom at bay. I'll try to keep ya'll posted if I hear about any other events that could be worth checking out.

Now, I'll try to get back to those gloves...

A spark of Inspiration

I dunno if anyone else I know really likes "Project Runway" like I do. Except maybe my mom, but she doesn't count because sewing has been her career for, I think, 20 years. So anyway, I watch the show because my mother being a Tailor, fashion and garment design have always piqued my intrest.

Now, I am not going to say I can sew. I can't. If I wanted to put in a button, make a hem, or sew two pieces together, then yes, I am able. However, I do not consider that sewing. Therefore I have a desire to learn to sew. WELL.

One of the more prominent reasons is the problem of not being able to find garments that I want. I have a MASSIVE list of what I consider essential pieces I want in my wardrobe. But, because I can't find the right things in the store, I figure it best to just make them. Who knows...perhaps learning all the in's and out's of my little black Singer will help me to learn some patience.

So, I bet you're wondering what I want to make...yes? Well, here's a short list:
1.)A black velvety vest with a forgiving bust and a generous lapel.
2.)A bunch of ornate waist cincher belts.
3.)A basic black and a lepard print pencil skirt.
4.)Hats. Really funky, unique, and sexy hats.
5.)A 1950s springy cotton dress with a princess neckline.
6.)A high waisted(but not high in the crotch) pant
7.)A men's style suit, but with feminine detailing (hopefully in lavender)
8.)Shorts. I never have ever found ones that fit like I want them to.
9.)Purses galore! Need I say more?
10.)A pea coat. I don't need one in Florida, but I want one. For the two cold days.
11.)A super sexy empire-waist sophisticated/slutty dress, like Jay from season 1.
12.)A sexy outter-wear corset. Just because...
13.)A hoodie. I hate the ones that they have at A&E and Old Navy. I want a long one.
14.)A couture gown. Hahaha. In purple.With lots of beading. Because I want to die slowly.
15.)A dress that could be a wedding gown. But in really super bright blue.

Now, I must put it out there that I am completely out of my mind. In fact, I probably tackle the last 5 for some of my first projects because I am that bonkers. But hey, it could be worse.

So, if this happens, I will be sure to post pictures on Myspace. However, this may not be for some time, as I am waiting for my mom to clean out her sewing room enough to set up my machine. Then I can become, Mimi: the mad fashion scientist!Muah-ha-ha!

Oh, and I hope Micheal Knight wins.