The List

Yesterday we had a temp Pharmacist at work because Steve was still sick. He said something that made a lot of sense. He said that you should try to do some things before having kids because they can stop you from doing certain goals. It's not like I hadn't thought of that before, but I guess I never really let it roll around in my head for a while. So this morning I made a list of things I want to achieve before I get married:

1.)get a tattoo
2.)have pink hair for a while
3.)go on a road trip
4.)stop biting my nails
5.)knit a sweater
6.)go to a concert
7.)travel to another country
8.)own a pair of glittery shoes
9.)drive an expensive car
10.)go fishing in the gulf of Mexico
11.)learn to speak Slovak (not necessarily fluently)
12.)try a new cuisine
13.)take a yoga or pilate's class
14.)sew a dress from a pattern
15.)start a vermicompost bin
16.)learn how to de-bone a chicken
17.)talk to a classroom of kids and/or adults about my experience
18.)learn to ballroom dance
19.)retile the bathroom
20.)create a scrapbook of all my goal-achieving goodness!
21.)buy a lime colored bra
22.)own more than 1 bathing suit
23.)go dancing at a club
24.)own a pair of stripper shoes
25.)grow a pink lemonade tree

The list will probably get longer, but I'm okay with that. I have cut my hair since I first wrote this list, so who knows? And besides, I have plenty of time.

Isn't that a deadly sin?

I feel sloth-ish. I'm pretty sure that's one of the seven deadly sins. You see, I can't seem to motivate myself to do something creative. I have a lot of creative energy, but I can't decide how to spend it, and I am afriad of failure. I hate having something in my mind's eye, then getting distracted, and messing the whole thing up. I can't do that to myself... I get frustrated if I fail- to the point that I am really disgusted with myself. I start believing I have no talent, and then I have no inspiration. Which, by the way, is much worse than having no way to get rid of it.
I keep watching "Miami Ink", and this tattooist, Kat Von D is so amazing! She does incredible B&W tatts. What I really love though is how skillfully she does pinups-- something I strive to be good at, but fail miserably on. That's why I got so excited about my airbrush, because a lot of artists use airbrush for their pinups. But I'm determined to get at least half-way decent at it. Maybe I need to take a portrait drawing class at Ringling this summer. I'm sure my problem is simply proportion of the face. I have lost my skill of portraiture, and it is very sad. :(
Above anything else, I MUST CLEAN MY ROOM!!! Alas, I have no time. When can i do it? Monday, Wensday, Friday I go to school. Tuesday and Thursday I am working on homework and online gym class. (They really need to offer P.E. and Personal Fitness during the summer....) On the weekends, I try to spend time with Stefan if I'm not working! I am just screwed I guess. Next week: Momma is going to Tampa on Thursday, so I'll probably go with her, even though I have to work. Friday, no school, and no work. So I'm thinking of taking off Thursday too, and just cleaning my room on Friday. But see, I want to spend time with Stefan, so that might put a damper on cleaning plans. I have to clean it all in one day, because if I don't, I just end up getting uninspired, which leads to not really caring, which leads to an even bigger mess. BLAH!!! Now do you see my predicament?!

Anyway, that's all ther is for now kiddies. Until next time...

Taxi!

Momma and Daddy bought me a car yesterday! I am so excited about it, because I have been waiting for my first car for a long time. They keep telling me that I need to shop around for car insurance, but I don't really know what to say. I mean, do I just say, "Um, I need a quote..."? Because I don't want to be waiting around for hours for some weirdo to get their butt on the computer, log my information in, and give me an approximation. That just seems silly.

Owning a car is like having a new freedom. I no longer will have to work around everyone else's schedules just to go shopping, or see a movie, or whatever it is I want to do. I know Bryan will probably really want me to take him everywhere. I guess I can't blame him. And besides, I will enjoy taking him to school on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I will probably still ride the bus to school and back. There is no reason why I should put miles and miles on my car and spend a boat-load of money on gas. I don't even like the idea of using gas. I wish they'd come out with an alternative soon...but knowing my luck, it'd be too expensive. Oh,well. This car is great because I know that I can finally take Stefan places, instead of him driving ME everywhere. To take my own bad self to Target is gonna be great! And, Daddy won't have to stay up until 10:30 just to bring me home.

Other than my new car, I am finding more and more that I am really liking the idea of moving in with Stefan. Saturday I was too tired to go home, so I called Momma and she said it would be okay for me to spend the night. For some reason, he and I both half-woke up, and I rolled over and kissed him. It was so great to know that the man I love was right there beside me. Periodically we'd put our arms around each other and embrace for a few minutes, before rolling back over again. I love him, and I love the idea of waking up next to him every morning. I do wish that we'd marry first, but we're young, and living together first is the best plan. Bryan is so funny, because he says to me, "Mimi, I wish you and Stefan would get married already, so I can call him my brother-in-law, instead of my sister's boyfriend." Bryan hasn't been wrong about any of my boyfriends yet. I know that if we want to be together, i will have to make sacrifice, and live up north for him. But Stefan would do the same for me if I asked him to. Life takes us in many different directions. We need to be aware that we must sometimes go with it, even if it means giving up something. We're both still very young and nieve about the world, but in time we will grow and mature--and we will do our best to grow and mature together. Love like ours is too strong to force things. We must let things come as they may, and God will take care of us. I have never once felt God to be mad about our relationship--any of it. God wants us to be together, and that is why I went to Riverview. It is why I got sick with Mono. It's why he and I have been together for a year. He's so good to me, and I am good to him. We still have a long way to go, but I know we'll get there.

Cleaning the Studio

Work, work, work. It's all I do. Every time I attempt to set aside a moment to be creative, somehow it is squashed by work, or school, or exhaustion. Fearing that I may become creatively drained again, I resist the urge to fight the exhaushtion and create. I think my biggest struggle is simply getting my space organized.

My room has been in shambles since the beggining of of school, and the sewing room has been token over by my grandmother's possesions. Not to mention I am still bitter about my Dad taking apart the monogram machine....
Anyway, I would really like to get my sewing machine set up so Momma can finally teach me how to sew from a pattern. Then I need to get my dremal tool and lathe in their own spot in the garage. The lenai will be taken over by my tomatoes before you know it, and I hope they sell worms over the internet, because I need to buy some in addition to lady bugs. Whoo-hoo! VERMICOMPOSTING!
Watch out, America, this Chick with Sticks is coming to glue-gun you down!

I'm sure that things will smooth out next week when I can finally get some time to think. Right now I'm just doing everything as it comes.

But, boy, it'll be exciting to see how my determinate tomatoes turn out!

MUAH!!!

I have been sooo busy lately! My goodness! But thankfully, things are working out to be just right. I finished a big portion of my fitness class assignments today, and I did my poetry paper for my English class. I don't really have much to say... hmm.

Well, I am hoping to start my tomatoes soon, figure out how to use my new airbrush and dremel tool, and find a place for my lathe. So much crafty-ness, so little space and time!