The Age of Commitment

Another one of my friends just sent me a card declaring her recent engagement to her boyfriend of several years...I think 4 but I am not sure.

I am under the belief that I must be at that prime point in my life when most of the girls my age, or near my age, are becoming quite committed to becoming a wife. Yes, it must be a bridal wave.

I just want to put it out in the universe that though the card made me want to vomit in envy, I am genuinely happy for her and her fiance. She is my friend, and I wish nothing but the best for her.

I hope that when I get engaged, I won't inadvertently cause anyone to feel like it'll never happen for them. I say that I KNOW he'll ask, but a piece of me wonders why we're letting the world decide when it'll happen. Money is a stupid reason not to get married. I hope that is not the case, but I don't know. Somehow I feel that by waiting for money, we'll be making a huge mistake. But I suppose Stefan feels that it would be an even bigger mistake not to wait for money.

Really, the only reason we aren't engaged now is because we are waiting to move in together first, which I truly feel would be the best. That said, rent is atrocious. I don't know who decided that ANYONE can afford $1200 for a 2bed/2bath house, but they were smoking somethin' spoiled. $800/mo. is really our limit, but I think if we could find something even cheaper, that would be great.

What sucks more than anything is that we seem to keep pushing back the date of when we will look for a place to live. Before, we talked about the end of this summer. Well that came and went, so then we decided maybe November/December. But alas, that would take money away from Christmas gifts, so now it's sometime after New Years. I don't know that I can get my hopes up and be disappointed again. I want so much to be with Stefan, (most especially in the capacity of being a wife) that I can't bear think of the move-in-together date being pushed back even further.

But what choice do I have? None apparently. Just hope for the best, but have no expectations.? I suppose that's all I can do.

If I didn't love him to the point of wanting to be wed, would this be an issue at all?

If I Won The Lottery

Ever since I can remember, anytime I ever had to wish upon anything, I would always wish that I would win the lottery. (Well, when I was younger, I would wish my mom would win, so that at least I felt like I had won.) Anyhoo, all this time, I have thought of many things that I would do if I were to win.

The first thing I would do is jump up and down and giggle perfusely.

Then, I would head to a lawyer's office. I would tell the lawyer to hook me up with all the right documentation and stuff to keep me kosher and out of trouble. Then, I'd hire another lawyer to watch the first one.

Second, I would head down to an investment firm and tell them to make that money grow really big.

Third, I would quit my job at Target. I would do it in a really nice way, and put in my two weeks notice. Probably take the other Pharmacy people out to dinner or something.

After those things I have a list that is not really in order:

-Buy a Toyota Prius for me, a Mini for my mom, and a Hybrid SUV for my Dad. Maybe a car for my brother.

-Go back to school. I still don't know what for though.

-Hire a tutor to teach me Slovak.

-Build an entirely eco-friendly house. F.U. Sarasota County! I'll find ways around your permit bullshit!

-Take my family to Hawaii and Alaska (Hawaii in the winter, Alaska in the summer)on a cruise!

-Get Married to Stefan

-have children. Two. One for each arm. (disclaimer: This would have to be sometime after 26 or 27. I'm not stupid.)

-Organize a huge benefit event for CPC that I would pay for all the costs, and ALL the proceeds would go to CPC.

-Get a Boston Terrier that is good with kids. Train it to be a pet therapy dog.

-(Much later down the road) Adopt. Probably from the Czech Republic or Slovakia.

-(Throughout my life remainder) Donate money to causes I believe in.

-Pay for my Dad to retire early.

-Go on a honeymoon that Stefan and I will remember forever.

There's plenty of other little things but those are the main ones.