A Bad Day

So school started again this week, and it started out rather sucks. The first day I had to call AAA because I left my lights on ALL DAY. Then, on Tuesday, I had to go to a totally different campus for just one class. On Wednesday, I spent the entire morning crying about my schedule, my car (which was now flashing the "brakes are have a problem" light at me), and the completely insane price of books. And to top everything else off, Momma and Daddy left town on Thursday; leaving me broke and in charge.
Thankfully, I got my schedule fixed, got my books for way cheaper online, and managed to get the car to agree with me. (The a/c is now broken though.) Anyhoo, This past week has been a rough one. I'm sure that things will go a lot more smoothly once I get back into the swing of things.
Money has been tight. To the point that I wanted to kick the guy in the post office for letting me buy a sheet of stamps. Money is an issue I've struggled with all my life, and I am sure I won't make peace with it any time soon. What I can't understand is how gas is more expensive than cigarettes, and yet people are still doing errands in their Hummers. I just don't get it. Not to say that I'm not guilty too--I could've taken the bus to and from school this week but I didn't. However, I'm not driving an Explorer, I'm driving an Escort. BIG DIFFERENCE. And, I'm not spending money on coloring my hair(which I've been "dying" to do, nor am I buying a huge new wardrobe for myself. I will admit to purchasing a new pair of shoes, some leggings and a new jumpsuit, but everything was on clearance or on sale. Life just handed me a difficult hand, but I know I'll get through it.
Because of the money situation right now, I have been forced to look at what is more realistic for Stefan and I. 2008 is probably not going to be very promising in the engagement department. If I go for my Masters degree, I'm looking at graduating in 2011. I'll be 23. Stefan graduates when he's 21, in 2008. So, it may be best for us to wait until after he's graduated, and working, for us to even get engaged. I always felt like we should be engaged while we're living together, so that may be 2009 or 10 until that happens. When would we get married? Probably a year later, about the time I graduate. Then what? Well, I felt like being in my mid-twenties was a good time to start having kids, so that would give us about 3 or 4 years of being "just us" before we start a family. Looking at it laid out like this makes me not worry so much, but it does make me feel like Stefan and I are going to be together as a dating couple a lot longer than I once thought. I moreso imagined us getting married in two or three years, not five or six. I am happy with him and our relationship as is stands now, but something inside of me is yearning for a stronger symbol of commitment to one another. I don't know how I feel about a promise ring, but I thing something of that nature is what I am wanting. It is really hard for me to look at this, because I know how badly I want to be married to him. I guess I'll just have to wait. I know I still have a lot of growing up to do, and I don't want Stefan to feel like I'm not ready for that type of lifestyle.
I love him, and I would rather wait 20 years to get married than to feel like I would disappoint him in that way.