Tick, tick, tick!

I have two clocks: a biological clock and a marital clock. Now I know what you're thinking--"Mimi, you're crazy." Well, I can only tell you what I know, and this is what I know. On my 18th birthday, God gave me the practical-joke gift of a biological clock. Har-har-har. All the sudden, I'd see a baby andthen feel like crying my eyes out. Now this did not necessarily mean I wanted a baby; actually I really just craved holding one, giving one a bath, smelling that new-baby smell. And I began to wonder what I would look like pregnant. Now, this is not something I wanted. Why the hell would anyone WANT to see a baby and tear up? Well, I have gotten to the point that where I have shut-up my biological clock, but then there is the other one. The marital clock. The one that makes me watch "Who's Wedding Is it Anyway" at 3 in the morning. The one that makes me slow down each time I drive past a bridal shop. The one that is currently driving me crazy.

I have almost been able to get it to shut up. Almost. However, sometimes I find myself day-dreaming about locations, or tablesettings, or guest lists. Tis, from a girl who hasn't even been asked yet. I wish I could supress it, but this one is pretty tough. Marrying Stefan seems like so very far away, but while I was drivign home tonight, I realised a way to get rid of my clock. I was listening to Delilah (I luv her) and a woman was calling to request a song. Basically. the caller said that she and her boyfriend of 8 years were having an argument because she wanted to get married, but he was waiting until they had "enough money". Well, that is particularly a great reason to hold off marriage, but it is the major reason why Stefan and I don't get hitched. Anyway, Delilah was telling the woman that her boyfriend obviously had a different agenda and her needs were not being met, therefore it was time for her to move on to someone better. That is what got me thinking. Stefan and I will be celebrating our two year anniversary November 8th. Two years is by no stretch of the imagination anywhere near eight years, and my emotional, physical, and mental needs are being met by him. I do have some other needs that I want to have met, but they are needs that Stefan does not have any control over. So I have decided to keep this in mind. All of my needs are being met, and though my clock trys to tell me that marring him would be a need, I know it is just a want. Therefore, I believe that I could be over this stupid clock thing if I just try to look at what he has already given me.

Now if I could just start thinking like an 18year old, I'd be all set.