The Big Bad Monster

There is something so basic within our culture that causes us to sweep abuse under the rug. We can't pour money into a laboritory, where little science geeks put abuse in a petri dish and try to figure out the cause. No, abuse is something that cannot be fought with a ribbon on a cereal box, or a three-day walk. (Yes, I hold some resentment against the whole breast cancer thing if you can't tell.) Abuse is something so complex, something that feeds into our most human core. It is scary. It is ugly. And it spreads faster than any cancer that ever existed.

This Christmas, I am reflecting on what I believe is the reason people are so afraid to take this ugly monster head-on.
1. Individuals believe it can't happen in their neighborhood
2. Society still holds firm to myths about abuse
3. Abuse is not "polite conversation"
4. Abuse is not dealt with at a national level
5. Abuse is not discussed in politics
6. Abuse is not taken seriously within the judicial system

My own personal story is not pretty. Few know many details...only Stefan and my mentor truly know more of my gritty bits than anyone else does. I choose not to let my parents in on a lot of it, because they don't need anymore reason to want to kill him. I don't go into the schools announcing that I am a survivor of sexual and emotional abuse. I have yet to have a student ask, and I would only tell them if they asked. Even then I would be selective of what I say. I know that I am a survivor, and that's all that matters. I am an open book, but if I feel that I am not willing to share the depths of my soul, I will tell the inquisitor so. I am not yet ready to share with the world the awful things that I have lived through, or the effects of those experiences. But I can tell you that abuse, no matter how small it may seem to another person, puts the victim in an upside down, back-assward world that is so much easier to deal with than trying to set things strait again. The greatest accomplishment of my life was the moment I realised that I had moved from being a victim to a survivor. And let me tell you, that is so much harder than it sounds.

So, on Christmas morning, as I open my presents, I can honestly tell you that of all the gifts I've recieved, it is my family, friends and mentors that have been the biggest blessing I could ever ask for. And I hope that all children can feel the way about the people in their world the way I do. I look forward to the new year, where I hope to take care of myself, so that I can continue fighting the good fight. For, if I save one child from ever being abused or neglected, I can die knowing that I have done far more than most have done in a lifetime.

Love and Safety,
Mimi