Thoughts at 2 in the morning

Anyone who really knows me probably would make the connection that I am pissed about the media coverage for the case concerning the Shawn Hornbeck boy. The media pisses me off enough as it is, but I mean really, what low will they not stoop to? It has become apparent that he was sexually abused, and so I am even moreso outraged.

Though I did not see the telecast of the Hornbeck family being interviewed by Oprah, I did see several clips of it. Including one that was like a drop in a puddle. Let me see if I can explain the ripple effect that has occured inside of me. But first I must tell you about the droplet. The clip that I saw of Oprah interviewing just the parents made me feel very heartbroken. Oprah posed the question as to weither or not they (the parents) knew if their son had been sexually abused. The father says to Oprah that they believe so, despite not having their son tell them directly. This hurt me much because I can only imagine what my Dad felt after I told. (But then again, no one ever asked my Dad if he thought I was being abused either.)

Since viewing this clip, I have tried to follow the case as it unfolds. (This is difficult seeing as how the media infurates me so.) There have been several mis-informed, cold-hearted, and downright dumb newsreporters who've given me no choice but to write a few things that only life experience can give you. Hopefully if you're reading this, you will soak this up. Here are some ripples that I have to let out of my system:

1.) Fear + a child + twisted reality = illogical behavior. Many a newscastor have asked, "Why did he not leave the situation when it's so obvious to us (the outside world) that he could have?" Oh, ye of little intellect, let me tell you. I could have told my parents on probably over two-hundred different occasions, but I didn't. Why? Because of FEAR. Fear is when you feel so distressed that whether the threat is real or imagined, your most basic survival insticts kick in. Now, this is not to say that your instincts are rational. I stayed in the situation for two long years because my entire frame of mind was warped. I thought that he could drown me in their pool out back and make it look like an accident. I thought he'd stop, or that I could make him stop. The reasons that I stayed, despite the many oppurtunities that I had to leave, can't be explained in such a way that a person who has never been abused could truly understand. Shawn Hornbeck, like all other abused people was AFRAID. Stop trying to force logic into an illogical system of thought. What I fear for him is that the court will use this information of his internet access against him.

2.)Now the next ripple. This is because I feel like no one else is saying it. I look at Shawn's picture, and I see the saddness and complex mix of emotions in his eyes that I had. I know that everyone is looking at this boy and wanting to just ask questions. But I know he'll give the answers when he's ready. I look at Shawn's picture, and I think about all the children I have seen go through the Sexual Abuse Treatment Program, and I think about myself, and my family, and everything. I wish I could just give him, and all the other kids a hug, and just say "I know", without having to really say it. I know; I don't need to grill you with questions. You don't have to give me answers. I just know.

3.)Duh. This is the ripple that makes me feel like people truly are stupid. The media keeps doing these "profile of a kiddnapper" type things about Michael Duvlin. These things almost make me laugh. Almost. Anyway, it really blows my mind that people would be shocked to know that a person who seemed normal and likeable could be such a monster. (It's kinda like saying that you're shocked that Miss America poops.) It's all just so surreal to me. I mean, really. Who in their right mind would think that somehow it's only the societal outcast who are child molesters? For anyone who is shocked that a person could be part of a normal and functioning society and still be a child molester...we need to talk. I mean, REALLY TALK.


I've said what I'm willing to share on a very viewable format. If what I've said makes you want to say something as well, please share. I like comments. It lets me know that someone, somewhere heard me. And that why I told in the first place.