The Blues

I have been feeling awfully depressed lately. Just a real sucky feeling, like I've no purpose. I have also been quiet. I am simply not in the mood to really say much. I wish to express my feelings in such a way that it can't be misconstrued; unlike my words, which often are. People seem to have a certain perception of me, and when I don't fit that mold, they get very upset and huffy with me.

In a way, I suppose I feel like just floating naked in a big pool with nobody around. Perhaps I wish this because I want to cleanse myself of all these bad vibes inside me. I can't put up with people at all right now. I feel so blue, that I bought myself some blue yarn today at Micheals. This may seem like a irrelevant detail, but it makes perfect sense to me. My sorrow seems enveloping, like a huge blanket. I guess I just want to wallow in it for a while, so I can come back stronger.

My parents keep saying that I seem to have an "inner-termoil", which I agree with. I feel like my soul is just dying. However, I am (usually) an optimist, so I feel as though I can get through this by myself. I've been through worse. Happiness is something I have to work at, because all my life have struggled with the inability to live in the moment. My mind has been wandering more than usual, and trails off into a blankness. I'm not really thinking about anything in particular. Just existing. I don't really feel alive.

The good news is that I am trying to do something about my sorrow. While buying my blue yarn, I also bought a box. I really love little alters, places where I can meditate and find tranquility. I have already primed the outside. I think the outside will be blue, with decopaged angels maybe. I am undecide about the inside, but I do know I will have a little candle. Maybe some incense. I think I will also have some stones and meditation cards. Perhaps I might even make the cards myself. When I get the opportunity to take a picture of my box, I'll be sure to post it.

Anyways...Since I'm in the listening mood, why not leave me a comment on how you get out of your blues?