Yes, Will Marry You, But Not If You Buy Me a Diamond

Ladies, if you grew up with the "Diamond is Forever" marketing message drilled in your brains, I hope that you'll read on.

About 70 years ago De Beers, the Diamond giant, decided that daimonds weren't raking in the kind of profits that they wanted. Giving diamond engagment rings wan not common practice before the twentieth century. They decided that Diamonds needed to become more sentimental, and being the sentimental suckers we are, De Beers chose the American market as their target audience. The "A Diamond is Forever" was revolutionary, because it not only said that men must buy diamond engagement rings, but the actually worth of the diamond that he bought was in direct coorelation to the value he held on the girl, the relationship, and exactly how long the marriage was supposed to last. If you wanted to be with her forever, you'd better as hell buy her a diamond, and it had better be a big one. Thus, came the two-months salary rule to buying an engagement ring.

Now, De Beers having the monopoly it does on the diamond market, has a giant vault of diamonds that is kept under lock and key. The reason being that if they were to release those daimonds into the market, diamonds would no longer be rare, and therefore worthless. When buying diamonds of any kind, you are paying for their rarity. So essentially you're paying for De Beers to keep other diamonds away from the marketplace. It is quite a paradoxical situation.

Fakes, such as Moissanite(which is actually more brilliant than a diamond, and undetectable to the naked eye) and Synthetic, are far cheaper. Let's say that your significant other wants a pink diamond. You could get her a synthetic for a fraction of the cost, with fewer flaws, and a bigger one at that. Another example: A 1.0 carat diamond solitare ring will set you back $6,000. A 1.0 carat Moissanite solitare is about $450. No where near two-months salary and the difference is completely untracable to all of the people who will be staring at it for your entire engagement.

And really, if you're in it for the jewelry, you need to buy your own and promise me youll never reproduce. The fact is, that when you get engaged, most people show their true colors. The ones who are all over the ring aren't really your friends. They are shallow. It's the ones who want to know more about your relationship with your fiancee that are true-blue friends. I, myself, would rather not have a ring at all than to know that children in third-world countries were sold to the diamond factories. More than one-half of the world’s diamonds are processed in India where many of the cutters and polishers are bonded child laborers. Bonded children work to pay off the debts of their relatives, often unsuccessfully. When they reach adulthood their debt is passed on to their younger siblings or to their own children.

Blood Diamonds are a dispicable problem all over the world, but especially in Africa. Though many retailers of diamonds will offer a certificate for "conflict-free" diamonds, there is no reliable way to insure that your diamond was not mined or stolen by government or rebel military forces in order to finance civil conflict. Conflict diamonds are traded either for guns or for cash to pay and feed soldiers.

Why bother? If we're all a scam, why must people die simply so that some idiot can make his girlfriend cry and say "yes"? If you really love her, give her something that maimed or killed a child? Now THAT'S romantic? What the hell?

Ladies, Diamonds are not your friends.