Anticlimactic

So I finished my classes. It was all so anticlimactic. I didn't sigh a big sigh of relief, or feel any sort of loss or anything. Sure I'm happy to be done with the semester, but I just didn't get that surge of glee as I usually do. I think pehaps because I have no feelings about this semester other than remorse. I wish I had taken other courses. I wish I had signed up for Anthroplogy, a science, and intermediate algebra. I am sorry that I didn't push myself this semester, and I think that now that it's done, I feel like I have nothing to show for it.

I think I will feel much more rejuvinated once I get my sleep schedule back into gear. Huh. I feel like taking my bike around the neighborhood. Or running. (I DON'T RUN, which makes this feeling very odd for me.) Tomarrow I will most likely get my hair trimmed, and if I am feeling good, I think I will ask them to dye the underside of my hair pink. I could use some pink in my life...yes that sounds lovely.

So the next step is to go deeper. I am taking the buisness class next semester, and getting another job. A creative one. I just need a place to spread my wings a bit. I also want to explore myself more. I haven't gotten to my core in a really long time. I am very tempted to go on a trip by myself. Somewhere I can breathe, and clear my mind. Stefan got me a camera for my birthday, and I amaching to take pictures of beautiful rolling fields and tree-blanketed mountains. Ah, to have the money to escape. Wouldn't that be nice? Well, one good thing about my birthday is that I am 1 year closer to being able to rent a car and escape this stupid state.

My mind is flying. I can't seem to focus my thoughts.

Maybe I should go ride my bike. That might be lovely. If I could just feel sortof small and conneted to the environment, I think I could concentrate. Perhaps on Wednesday Stefan and I could go lay out on a blanket by the grass. Last time we did that (on 4th of July) we had such a nice time. I am so in love with him.

Have you ever seen a couple slow dancing without music? Just holding each other close and stepping lightly as their bodies sway? Well, that's us. If there is anything that I have done right, it's been falling in love him. I know that I will be with him forever. How do I know this? Because there are no words in the English language that could describe our love for one another. It's good to know that when you feel like running, you always have someone who'll run with you.

Anyway that's just what was on my mind.